Stick a fork in me...

I'm DONE!

This semester is OVER.  I'd say I'm sooo relieved, but I'm only somewhat relieved.  The semester isn't truly over (for me) until all of my grades are lined up neatly on my online "report card."  That's when I can finally breathe that sigh of relief and start enjoying my vacation.

So this leads me to the question: why do I place so much value on my grades?  It's only natural that I should want to do well and succeed at the things I put so much effort into, but why was so much effort exerted in the first place?  Why is it that some people find their self-worth in clothes, make up, money, labels-- and I find my self-worth in grades?

It's not something I wish to dwell on for too long of a post.  Just something I've been mulling over recently and wondering if a 4.0 will even matter to me in a year, two years, ten years.  It's a goal I set for myself, yes, but why did I set that goal?  Why does a letter hold so much power over me?

And I'm not exactly willing to dig through 21 years of personal history to figure out why good grades- perfect grades- are so valuable to me.  Being a perfectionist has been synonymous with being Erica for my whole life.  While I've always known it, I've only somewhat recently been wondering why- but while I recognize it, I'm not ready to fully explore it.  One day, though.