1. That feeling you're supposed to get when you try on the perfect wedding dress? The one where you just know? The rush of elation from having found your dress? It's real. From the mouth of the biggest I-don't-want-to-be-a-princess cynic... it's real.
2. At the end of the day, you're still going to be marrying your best friend. I get this. But I want to make sure that all of my guests are having a great time, which is why I still allow myself to get stressed over details and things that "don't matter" to the wedding itself. I'm the luckiest girl ever; I get to walk away from the evening with the greatest prize, despite what goes right or wrong for everyone else. And that's why I want to make sure things go as right as possible for everyone else. No one else is walking away with that prize, so I want them to at least have cool photo booth props and delicious cake. You should not have to feel guilty about worrying over what music to play, but it's probably important to remember that all you really have to do is provide an open bar. Most likely, the other details won't be noticed as much. As my mom says, "No one's going to remember what kind of food you served or what the bridesmaids' dresses looked like." But if it makes you feel productive to stress and worry over the details, then by all means, stress and worry over the details.
3. It's not really the bride's day. It's the parents of the bride's day, the grandparents of the bride's day, the people who have watched the bride grow up for years's day... and then maybe it's the bride's day. But everyone will say it's the bride's day, so just take it, and let people believe what they want.
4. If you're not a glitzy girl, it's okay to not be glitzy on your wedding day. Don't let anyone tell you that you HAVE to be on this one big special day. If you're not a glitzy girl, it's okay to actually be glitzy on your wedding day. Don't let anyone tell you that you're not being "true to yourself" or that you don't look like you. If you're not a glitzy girl, it's okay to be glitzy on any damn day of the year. It's okay to be whatever you want whenever you want, as long as it makes you happy, and as long as you're not actually hurting anyone else in that good old pursuit of happiness.
5. There is so much free stuff to be had in the wedding industry. I've got tote bags, magazines, samples, and more. You can keep it if you want. Make a big old wedding box and stuff it all in there. Organize it in a scrapbook. But you don't have to keep it. You can throw it away without even opening it and without feeling guilty.
6. The groom (or whomever you are marrying) should really get some sort of say in *almost* every decision. But if he says he really doesn't care, then let it go, and make the decision yourself. He will voice his opinion when he has one, and it's up to you to actually listen to him. It's easy to forget that this dude is actually a whopping 50% of the marriage thing.
7. MARRIAGE and WEDDING are two distinct terms. I don't think I should have to explain this any further.
8. Be polite and respectful to your vendors; there is a very fine line in this particular industry between "boss" and "client." You are not a bad person if you don't like a vendor's work or product; thank them for their time, and move on until you find something that you do like. This is the way business works. Interview as many as you can, ask as many questions as you can possibly conceive, and create a dialogue that works both ways. They will have questions for you as well. They have other clients/bosses. They have a life outside of their career. Function as two people in a symbiotic relationship, show them respect, and appreciate their work-- after all, you selected them.
9. Be gracious and thankful to everyone involved in the wedding planning process. Your friends have suffered through hours of you blathering about chair ties and invitations. (Sorry, everyone. Y'all really are the best.) Your friends should always be patient with you in life (that's why they're your friends!), but they've probably adapted a dosage of extra patience with you during the wedding planning, and you need to be respectful of that and know when to dial it back. Your family is doing their best with you as well. Smile, answer the same questions you always get asked, and be grateful that they care enough to ask. (Please let me take this opportunity to apologize to everyone in my life for when I haven't followed my own rule here.)
10. Refer back to Item #2: at the end of the day, you're still going to be marrying your best friend. Stop every now and then and appreciate the love that is flowing in from all around you to make this vision of yours something of a reality. There is so much love. Revel in it.
