It's totally worth it.
Do you have that figured out yet? I mean, you're pretty insightful already, but have you fully grasped the total, complete, full-circle concept of how everything happens for a reason? Have you yet fallen in love with the idea that whatever suffering you're experiencing only exists to lead you to a greater lesson, to grow you into a better person? I admit, it's hard to remember in the moment, but it's how you'll learn to get through a lot of stuff. It's how things will start to make sense.
You/I/we know how headachey time travel, its implications, and its consequences, are. This is not a "What I Would Tell my 16 Year Old Self if I Could" letter. This is a "What I Would Tell my 16 Year Old Self if I Could With the Knowledge That This Information Will Never Actually Reach Past Erica and Besides That Would Change How I Acted in Situations and Thus Change the Reasons Things Happened Which Would Make Me a Very Different Person Who Wouldn't Need to Write This Letter" letter. I know you; you understand what I'm getting at.
So, some thoughts: You will really appreciate all those pictures you take and all that stuff you save. You may feel silly about it now, but the smiles, tears, and memories they'll bring you later will be worth it (see, there it is again).
Good news: You'll stop biting your nails. Mostly. Sometimes. More good news: You're awesome at folding paper cranes. Yeah, thought you forgot how to do that, huh? Someone will teach you again. Oh, and you're going to need glasses! Crazy, right?
But in all seriousness, I know that while, for the most part, life is good, sometimes, you're not in a happy place. And I wish I could give you some specific advice about how to handle the problems of the day, but I can't. Because I don't remember those problems. And that is such a beautiful thing. You will realize how minuscule your problems are. You will realize that the world extends beyond your lunch table. There will be serious problems, yes, and for those, I'm sorry. Those are the ones that stick with you, that I do remember, that I don't blame you for crying over. But those are the ones that happen for a reason. Those are the ones that teach you something. If it's any comfort, you overcome them all beautifully. Maybe not in the moment, but in the long run, and that's when it counts.
So sit up straight, not only for your posture, but for your self-confidence. I've noticed you do this thing where you seem to fold in on yourself when you sit, and I know why. Smile more. Laugh at yourself. And for the love of God, BREATHE every once in a while, will ya? There is so much more to life than the things over which you worry. Some examples:
In about two years, you're going to move out and go to college and watch your protective high school bubble burst. In about three years, you're going to start on an active journey to become a better person. In about four years, you're going to have the most gorgeous little godson. In about five years, you're going to start writing a book. In about six years, you're going to be engaged.
To Michael. Yeah, you know the guy. Right now, you're uncertain but giddy and hopeful, and for a while, you'll wonder if it's foolish to think this could last at such a young age. It is my absolute joy to report-- to confirm-- that it does. He's going to take you on so many amazing journeys. You are going to be such a different, braver, kinder, bigger-hearted person because of him. There will be rough patches and arguments, like all relationships, but ultimately, there will be unshakeable, undeniable, unfailing love.
It's going to be amazing. Your whole life is going to be such a fantastic ride, and I hope you keep your eyes open where it counts. I guess in another five, ten, twenty years, I'll be writing more letters to myself, completely oblivious to whatever was keeping me awake tonight and driving me to write this letter.
I'm proud of you. Believe it. You will come to find out how much weight those words hold with you. To quote our favorite leading lady, Julie Andrews: "Dear little girl, you are terribly blessed." I hope you realize and appreciate that.
Love,
22 Year Old Erica
P.S. That thing you do, where you hide money from yourself now in order to find later? Yeah, keep doing that. It's working out really awesome for me. Thanks.
